Best of Craigslist

Best of Craigslist http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best postings from craigslist.org, selected by readers en-us Copyright 2009, craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best of Craigslist Collection 2009-06-07T19:35:11-04:00 2 daily Sweet Maverick seeks Commitment-Minded Professor or Researcher http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/1210311586.html If you accept that I am an intuitive and unconventional soul of high integrity; if you accept that I cannot march but to the beat of my own drum, you may be a good fit to become my best friend and life partner. Since I have been surrounded by brilliant academics all through my life, I know for sure that they are my best match. A slightly Bohemian, unattached, monogamous and spiritual scholar would be my ideal counterpart. My exes are academics as well, and I did help them a lot in editing their articles and keynote speeches. Words like casual dating, instant gratification and one-night stand are entirely missing from my dictionary. If you live by different rules, you are reading the wrong ad. I am a lot of women in a woman. Everything you have gone through in Life, I went through ten times worse and ten times longer. However, instead of surrendering my fate to priests, doctors, lawyers, gurus, MBAs and other consultants, I joyfully connect to the Inner Light of my own Soul. That makes me one of a kind and keeps me young. As the only Eastern-type mystic in a European Judeo-Christian family of left-brain governed, high-profile intellectuals, I consider myself unique. Although my peers, friends and family views me as someone whose thinking is a few sigma from the median, we love each other endlessly; that is all what counts. When my parents first brought me back from the hospital in early spring, our courtyard became full of blooming yellow roses. This is a rare occurrence in my home country, so a relative of ours sought out for a Rebbe to decipher this coincidence. We learnt from the holy man that I came to this planet to manifest the qualities of Tiferet, the Sacred Heart of the Tree of Life. (Wiki has a good explanation). Later on in my life, the same Rebbe agreed to teach me the basics of Kabbala / Zohar at times and in a country where this mystical knowledge was forbidden to females. Let alone goyishe kups! I cannot take ANY credit for my verbal dexterity, astuteness and general mind power. It comes directly from my Dad. I inherited my teaching talent from him as well. Although he should have been a stand-up comedian, he was a top academic instructor of his field until he moved on to do other things. My converted Catholic Mum is fully responsible for the pragmatic streak in me. My polyglot grandparents passed on some genes to have a decent working knowledge of at least half-a-dozen languages. My former professors and my family will forever resent the fact that in spite of the top grades I got, I decided not to continue on with a Ph.D. in cognitive neuroscience. The world may have lost a bright scholar, but humanity may have gained a humble servant with a compassionate heart. I feel I fulfill my soul purpose better as a performer of random acts of kindness and senseless beauty. (I do them in secret; that is pretty much the only secret I keep…) Like a typical only child, solitude is my bliss and being self-sufficient is my middle name; however, my EQ score did not fall in my lap. Loneliness and/or boredom are unknown to me. My close friends tell me that I am much like Madonna. I do admire her discipline, determination and her willingness to change perpetually. I also have a special connection with dance (classical ballet). However, I used to be cast in shows with spiritual themes. Choreographers recognized early on that my body and artistic expression is well suited to express and transmit powerful female energies (i.e. Shiva’s wives, Tara, Celtic goddesses, Pocahontas and the like). I can compose faster than most people talk, but I probably reached the point of no return as it comes to an average human’s focus of attention. As I end this message, I genuinely thank you for reading this missive. I believe it is not a coincidence that you read it. Allow me to send you love in this moment. We know that time is an illusion, right? I attached my most recent picture taken on Friday, May 22, 2009. -Tiffy . <ul> <li> Location: Montreal <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-06-07T19:35:11-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/1210311586.html Sweet Maverick seeks Commitment-Minded Professor or Researcher text Sick of showering alone with vodka martinis http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/1184395871.html So I was in the shower this morning, having a vodka martini while washing my hair, and I thought "wouldn't it be great if I had a girl to do this for me?" I mean wash my hair, not drink the martini... I can do that myself... So after heading outside and kicking some homeless men so I could steal their change cups for cash, I popped into a Starbucks and ordered a non-fat soy chai latte, then had the barista stir it with her tongue. You didn't know Starbucks did that? Well you've probably never asked. Try it next time. I sat down and fired up my laptop, first browsing a couple porn sites to see if my sister was getting any work... then opened up Craigslist and started to write. So by this point of my profile, you probably want to shoot me in the kneecap with a small girly handgun... Let me give you some more ammunition... * While surfing in Africa last winter, I lied to my friend about which beaches had shark sightings then went to the worst one. I smeared his board with fish guts. Once he was attacked, I pulled him from the water... I'm a goddamn hero! * I've never stolen a car without returning it with a full tank of gas, two tickets to a hockey game, and a gently used handgun in the trunk. Juuuuuust kidding.... who can afford hockey tickets these days? Come to think of it, who can afford gas? * I know the difference between a fine kilo of pure Columbian yay, and a shopping bag full of icing sugar, so don't try and double cross me like my first four wives. * Everyone hates mimes... but not me. I respect someone who knows when to shut the fuck up. If we all did that, there'd be less war. Then again, if there was less war, Hollywood would start making more movies about teens trying to lose their virginity before college. I lost mine in grade 8 to my parent's chubby Greek cleaning lady... how come no one makes a movie about that? * My agent thinks I'm an asshole. Partially because I never pay her, partially because I keep getting her name wrong. I'm bad with names. If we sleep together, and I wake up and call you Betty, Sally, or Billy-Jo, don't be offended. I have the same problem with phone numbers, so if you wonder why I don't call... it's cause some nice family in the 'burbs is getting non-stop booty calls at 2am in your place. * Don’t worry about that though, as I never sleep with the same girl twice. You wouldn’t ask DaVinci to paint another copy of the Mona Lisa, would you? * I get mistaken for Tom Cruise almost everywhere I go. Not Tom Cruise the actor, Tom Cruise the assistant pottery teacher at Langley Highschool (go RiverRats!) Now, since guys online dating all seem to like to tell YOU what YOU should be like (don't you love that?), I'll do the same. * Don't be blonde. I’m bored of blondes in this town (like any of you are really blonde anyway... pfft... Grow some self-confidence and go back to your natural colour.) Sure blondes have more fun... but brunettes try harder, and I respect a woman who puts some effort in, and blondes just have it too easy. * I don't care where you live. I have a car. I like driving. Have some ice cream and pie waiting for me and I'll drive to Brossard (well... it'd have to be homemade pie if you live in Brossard.) * I’d prefer if you ARE married or have a boyfriend.... Look... I’m not going to sit around picking out new cutlery from a catalogue with you, or help you walk your tiny little dog. You should have a steady boyfriend or husband for that. I’m like a roller coaster, fun to ride by yourself (or preferably with your best friend!)... but terrible for trying to have a dinner party on! Well... that’s it for me. Smell ya later... PS. If I’ve piqued your curiosity, you should know that it’s Ok for you to email me. I won’t tell your friends, family, husbands, or boyfriends that you’ve been browsing Craigslist’s personals... and don’t you want to know if I just talk the talk, or walk the walk? PPS. Please include a photo of yourself, preferably in a dress, but failing that, underwear. And failing that, track pants and a dirty t-shirt always work. PPPS, Both my parole officer and my therapist have given me the thumbs up to date since "the bank incident". <ul> <li> Location: Montreal <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-05-22T19:21:53-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/1184395871.html Sick of showering alone with vodka martinis text you littered on the metro - w4m http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/1053416710.html I rode the metro this afternoon from Georges-Vanier to Vendome. You sat next to me and were wearing a tuque. You were trying to open up some sort of electronic device that was shelled in tough plastic. I watched as you tried jamming your keys through the packaging and failed repeatedly to retrieve what was on the inside. I found the way you would scowl and swear to yourself every few seconds charming and it was when you threw your hands up in the air in despair that I really swooned. I really wanted you to get the prize on the inside while I was there to witness it- That was until you ripped a part of the packaging off and threw it away on the floor of the metro car without skipping a beat. You discarded your garbage onto the rest of the passengers, without a care in the world. The spell was over, and your childish fits of rage were no longer cute to me. I fell in and out of love with you during a three stop metro ride. I all of a sudden hated you. and your stupid electronic thing. I hope you never get through that packaging. <ul> <li> Location: orange line- towards cote vertu <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-02-27T17:56:03-05:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/1053416710.html you littered on the metro - w4m text Con U muslim lesbo looking for sweaty "ententes" with Jewish McGillian http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/1051294294.html What's with the McGill snobbery? Are Concordia dykes chopped liver already? I'm a sexy Palestinian-born, Concordia-educated lesbian looking to make my very personal, very profound statement for peace by offering my luscious bod to a Jewish McGill gal to do with as she pleases. Let us bridge our cultural and institutional differences in a shuddering display of joy and togetherness and be an example to the rest of the world Come break some taboon bread with me and I'll sip your Manischewitz wine. محبوب <ul> <li> Location: Concordia University <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2009-02-26T10:15:36-05:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/1051294294.html Con U muslim lesbo looking for sweaty "ententes" with Jewish McGillian text Dear Montreal http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/899245647.html Dear Montreal, Go ahead, and jab me in the subway with your hardback novel, and then make a tutting noise at me for being in your way. Go ahead and walk with two friends, six inches between each of you, on the same sidewalk, and roll two pairs of eyes if not all three when I walk up in the opposite direction, breaking your stride. I love you, and you can’t stop that. Even your weather can’t stop that, and if anything could, it would, with your hot as Georgia summers and refusal to air condition or even dehumidify. I actually don’t mind your winters too much myself – what I don’t like is how your winter makes YOU feel. Well, that, and the fact that you want every indoor space heated above 80 degrees Fahrenheit from October through April. We both know that you’re not one to let a little snow and ice get in your way. My God! A blizzard comes through and you’ve cleared it all away within half a day. That’s you, Montreal! But you’d think you were Moscow, with the way you carry on about how winter’s on the way when the first hint of a cool breeze blows across you in August. Has my undying love not warmed you yet, even a little? I hate to see you ruin your beautiful autumn year after year by moaning about winter coming from the first day the temperature dips below sultry until the “W” word actually comes for real sometime in December. Life is short, Montreal, don’t wish it away. I love you and want to see you smile like you do when it’s almost the jazz festival and promise is in your air. Go ahead. Tap your car’s bumper against my heels a few times as I run through the rain on the green light. That won’t stop my love. Go ahead and hit me if you want to – I could actually use the money! Oh wait, if you hit me, all I get is a predetermined sum from the provincial government based on their assessment of level of my physical and mental suffering. That is, as best I understand it from the rather confusing brochure on this that was sent to me in French, unlike some other things you send me, that are in both English AND in French. I think you explained it one night when we were drinking, so it's kind of hazy. But I remember you said something about only stuff that has to do with health and safety is translated into English? Anyway, did I mention I love you? Go ahead. Answer the simple queries I pose to you in French in disdainful English. The fact that I can’t understand 100% of your automobile insurance literature or be hip with your slang is proof that the two decades spent learning your language, which included acquiring a university degree in French and spending vast amounts of time other, lesser Francophone nations, were not quite enough. I think you did understand though, that I did it all for you, because I love you, and this is why you gave me a day job. I thank you for that. I will do whatever it takes. One day, it will come naturally to me to enter a shop and instead of saying, “Bonjour, j’aimerais une baguette, s’il vous plait,” I will say, “Seigneur! L’hiver s’en vient! Heille, tu as-tu un pain complet biologique aux atocas?” Or somesuch. And you will answer me, accordingly, however that is, and I will quiver with ecstasy. I swear, I am trying, because Montreal, baby, I love your French. Please never stop talking that way. Keep being insanely creative with the boring old traditional notions of grammar, usage and form and keep twisting your mouth assymetrically over your vowels – that really makes me hot. Lord, is anything more tiresome than Paris, with its prune-lipped, pantyhose and perfume French and its chilly delight in psychological manipulation, including but not limited to its never-ending campaign to convince you how serious, intelligent and too busy it is for you? While some of us, like you and me, Montreal, are too busy doing real things to spend hours lounging around playing mind games. I even love your rules about French signage and all, and all your other rules for that matter, because how am I to do what is expected of me if I don’t know what that is? Thank you for being so clear, Montreal, and for being such a mensch whenever faced with either of the two assholes to which you are wrongly compared – New York or Paris. You are gracious beyond comprehension, and this inspires me. It actually was one of the ways I knew that how I felt about you was much, much more than physical. What got me, though, is the sincere way that underneath it all, you believe in yourself, and you don’t just give yourself away to the first person who asks. This is evidenced in so many ways. One way is your food. I hope I won’t hurt you when I say this, Montreal, but we both believe in being straightforward, so I’m going to take a chance … a lot of your food is really bad. More than half of it, actually. Like, bad enough to be sent back to the kitchen in other cities. But you have convinced the rest of the continent, at least, that you have the best food on it. And it would be true if all your food was as good as your food that is good, which is probably what you believe is true, or could or will be true? Anyway, we all have our dreams and delusions, and the fact is, your good food is absolutely exquisite, and has to be patiently waited for and then magically discovered by those who really want it… kind of like true love! But if you don’t care enough to try to find it, there are many traps along the way, like the hybrid food troughs with Chinese, Japanese, Italian, Greek, Turkish and Canadian food which always offer some scary-sounding thing called pizzaghetti, or the overpriced places that charge a lot of money for odd and maybe not so delicious things, like truffle ravioli in a fenugreek-wasabi infusion or foie gras on French fries. Your PR campaign has worked brilliantly, despite being home to a host of professional restaurant reviewers who are very specific when they don't like a place. Hey, two years ago, you had a big-name American food magazine devote an entire issue to you and I read the whole thing, of course. They knew about your bagels, but did they know about your Ethiopian or Spanish restaurants? Did they know where your best Chinese food is? No, because they were too mind boggled by the fact that the lesser product known in their country as pastrami is called smoked meat here, and several pages were devoted to them wrapping their minds around that. That’s not real love, Montreal. Not like mine. I wouldn’t question your judgment that way. I never even asked what smoked meat was. I just wanted to taste it, and since then, all I want is more. Let’s feed the world a plate of foie gras pizzaghetti avec sa sauce de figues biologiques du Québec, Montreal, and let’s you and I go out to a bring-your-own. My treat. I know one with a fireplace, and I’ve got a bottle for each of us. Because I love you. And, I want to know where you’re keeping the real pizza. <ul> <li> Location: Montreal <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-10-30T11:06:20-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/899245647.html Dear Montreal text Necrophiliac seeking corpse http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/894700478.html Seeking a tall, well-muscled insomniac to indulge a very particular fantasy. I would like to see you lie motionless on a green-and-cream chintz bedspread, face-up, wearing only your plaid boxer shorts, with your arms crossed on your chest like a corpse at an open-casket funeral. You will sleep like a cat, and I will watch you, ignore you, go out for a coffee, or possibly photograph you with my BlackBerry. When you awaken, we will watch low-quality American television and eat coconut sorbet. Snorers, sheet-stealers, seafood-eaters and those with a post-CEGEP education need not apply. <ul> <li> Location: Clarion hotel <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-10-26T21:33:12-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/894700478.html Necrophiliac seeking corpse text We live together http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/759387513.html I keep passing you on the way to the fridge. I'm sure you've noticed me - I think you're looking at me out the corner of your eye when I get in and out of the bed we share. I waved at you several times over the weekend as we were sitting down to meals. At breakfast this morning you ate the oatmeal I made, but didn't seem to notice my gesticulating. I know it's unlikely you'll see this, but if you do and something clicks, get back to me. <ul> <li> Location: my apt <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-07-17T20:59:34-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/759387513.html We live together text To the cute microbiologist who's gonna examine my stool - w4m http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/682641364.html Hi. Well if you're reading this, you already know it's you. I walked into the lab today because of chronic diarrhea, and they called you specifically to take care of my case. You were so cute when you said I had abnormally huge taste buds. When you said you had to have another look at the back of my throat, it was obvious you just wanted to see their freaky fatness once more, and I called you on it. You then turned completely red, and I don't know if it was because of my grossly exaggerated yet founded accusations or because I wasn't wearing a bra and you left me waiting for like 45 minutes in an industrial AC powered office. You're gonna be growing five different cultures from my stool in the next week and I have no idea, despite all my funk and resourcefulness, how to make the idea of giving me a call after work seem inspiring. Between all these questions you're asking me, all of which are related to my loose bowel movements, and the fact that you could lose your license if you got together with a patient, there is just no way I can slip you my number. I don't really know what to do. I think I'm gonna try to run into you at the end of your internship at this hospital. I hear if it's not in an office, there is no law to prevent me hitting on you, and you taking it up. If you're not gay that is - cause you sort of give off that kind of vibe too. But if you're not, where is my highest chance of running into you completely by chance, one morning when I'm not your patient and you're not my hot, out-of-bounds microbiologist? <ul> <li> Location: Laval <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-05-16T01:39:07-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/682641364.html To the cute microbiologist who's gonna examine my stool - w4m text Looking for gamer guy! PST! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/652240333.html Heeyyaa! I'm an independent 21 year-old Asian gamer chick that is currently looking for a fun and honest relationship with a cute guy! Pre-reqs include: World of Warcraft player Having at least 2 70's Having a personal PVP rating of at least 2000. Good and quirky sense of humour (interests in shows such as South Park and Family Guy help with that) Honesty Loyalty Intelligence Age: Between 22 and 26. I am currently working full-time and pay for all my own stuff, including my own place, car, etc. I will be attending university in the fall as a full-time student. My musical preference is metal although that isn't too much of an issue issue. If you think you have what it takes, send me a message with a picture attachment and a brief description of your characters! If I'm interested, I will message you back with a few of my pics. XD P.S. The WoW requirements are not a joke. Kthnxbai! <ul> <li> Location: Montreal <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-04-22T16:29:06-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/652240333.html Looking for gamer guy! PST! text the people at second cup are like so rude http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/645458908.html To that girl who works at the Second Cup: This has been eating me, it just really hurt my feelings and I need to get it off my chest okay? You were like, totally mean to me. I was talking to my bf alright? I like him better than you, I'd rather talk to him than you, so next time could you just wait for me to hang up? Really, the line behind me isn't that long. You didn't have to look so bitchy, I was almost done, I mean, I was holding up my finger, that usually means wait! But you just went on to that next guy, so, like, I hung up for nothing? Anyway when you finally got around to me it was like you didn't even want to take my order. I was nice, okay? I know what I want is complicated, so I said it real slow so understand. It's a grande vanilla latte with two and a half pumps of the SUGAR-FREE syrup. And skim milk. But I want it extra hot, okay? To like 182.5 degrees. And no foam, I don't like foam, it's too much like when I used to eat my bubble bath as a kid. And, you know, the least you could do is double cup it, you know? A latte that hot could hurt me, I have sensitive hands. Maybe you should, like, memorize this so that next time when I come in you recognize me and you know what I want right away. Yeah, whatever, you serve hundreds of people every day blah blah blah. I'm the orange spray tanned one with a purse I could fit a Doberman in. Oh and I'm usually wearing Uggs, they're just so comfy and stylish, you know? You should totally try to learn your customers' orders, it makes us happy. So anyway, when you finally got my order right I asked you for an apple baba, not so hard. My phone rang while you went to get a plate, it was really important so I took it. Anyway my bf was RIGHT in the middle of telling me how cute I am when you TOTALLY interrupted to take my money. Like, was I not obviously in the middle of something? You'd think you could take a hint, like, if you tell me my total and I don't answer you'd just wait like any polite person, but no, you like basically yelled it at me, it was so embarrassing. I wasn't about to hang up again, okay? You're not the only one that exists! So fine, I'll give you your stupid money, you're lucky I have exact change, even if I have to dig for it a bit in my enormous purse. I'm doing you a favor get over it. But, like, it's hard to count change and talk on the phone at the same time, you know? Really, if I wasn't on the phone I could count like a normal person, but give me a sec, I'm multitasking, the people behind me get it, we've all had to before. Tip? No, sorry, Daddy doesn't like me spending my allowance on things I don't need. Anyway, you and your friend who makes the drinks were really bitchy. I was just asking her to make sure it was sugar-free, alright? Geez, you'd think I insulted your moms or something. Have a nice day yourself. When I come back tomorrow to spend four hours on Facebook I'm totally not going to be as nice as I was today. <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: near school <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-04-17T05:05:28-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/645458908.html the people at second cup are like so rude text Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a ghost) http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/504298183.html I picked up this Jar at my uncles estate sale. It's believed to contain a ghost! possibly of George Harrison. If you're in to ghosts and other super natural phenomenon, or are a Beatles fan, this is the item for you. <img src="504298183.jpg">   <ul class="blurbs"> <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-12-09T23:18:36-05:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/504298183.html Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a ghost) text Gorgeous Couch - Pic in link http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/396849225.html I've been looking for a couch on here for the past few weeks, and let me tell you what I've learned so far: 1) It does NOT matter what you paid for it!!! First off, odds are, no one believes you anyways. Secondly, there's an EXCELLENT chance that what you paid for your furniture is just going to make me laugh because it is out of this world expensive for a couch you couldn't pay me to put in my living room. 2) Don't bother telling us that you think it's a gorgeous couch. If you didn’t think it was a gorgeous couch, you probably wouldn’t have bought it, and I really don't care how YOU think it looks, I care how I care it looks. 3) POST A PICTURE. See number 2. Giving a detailed description of colours, strip patterns, down to the mm measurements, and the dimensions of the butt indentation you've been working on for the last 3 and a half years does not compensate for a (well-lit) picture. If you don't have a digital camera, borrow one from someone you know. And trust me, you know someone who has a camera and can help you. Once you get the camera, post multiple angles of the couch. here's an idea, CL lets you post 4 pictures. there are 4 sides to most couches. Unless there is damage, pictures of the back usually aren’t necessary so post different angles of the important parts. 4) In your post, give me some idea of the couch's condition. If it's damaged, let me know. If you don't, I get pissed off when I drive out to wherever you are to take a closer look at the "like-new" couch you have for sale, only to discover that the cat you own has claws the size of a grizzly and has whittled the side of the couch not visible in the picture you posted down to a duct-tape covered toothpick. Even better, post a picture of any wear and tear. 5) Look at the Craigslist classified section before posting your add!!! There are over 100 posts a day for furniture, usually over 200 for weekend days. With that many options available, the basic laws of supply and demand dictate that your couch (remembering point number 1) is not worth as much as you think it is. Sorry. Remember the basic rule of garage sales: The idea is to make space, not money. 6) If you are not able to sell your couch, do not bother posting it again and again several times a day in the hopes that your $800, 30 year old fake pleather ugly monstrosity will eventually be EXACTLY what someone is looking for, it's not. 6)b) do NOT, under any circumstances, repost your add with an INCREASED price. If someone is searching CL for a couch, they're not taking the first one they see unless they are luckier than me and found what they were after on the first shot. That being said, I've seen your add everyday, your asking price was high to begin with, raising it doesn’t make your couch more appealing. If you can't sell your couch, try lowering your asking price. Whew… glad that’s off my chest. NOW, who wants to buy my couch? It’s a GROGEOUS sectional purchased 27 years ago and has been well used by my parents and their 2 boys who used to make forts out of it and jump up and down on it while watching cartoons. I don’t have a camera right now but I can assure you that you will LOVE the 70’s style brown fabric, with circulation facilitators, (tears) where people sit the most. It’s so gorgeous that you won’t even notice that I once put my foot through the corner piece while chasing my dog around the room. It has been used by non-smoking, non-pet owners for the past 39 days making it ideal for anyone. My parents paid $7,000 for this couch 27 years ago. With inflation, that’s got to be about $20,000 today. Remembering that, I’m willing to part with what has become my sex couch for the bargain basement price of $2,000, a full 90% off the purchase price when you consider inflation!!!!!!!! I am of course a very understanding seller. There are 4 sections to the couch and I will let you pick them up 1 at a time as long as you pay for them all up front and leave me with an extra $250 for the trouble. Thanks for reading my add, I look forward to the bidding war that is now inevitable I’m sure. If I don’t get my asking price, I’ll target the richer people looking for second hand sectionals on CL and will repost for $4,000 tomorrow.  <ul class="blurbs"> <li> This item has been posted by-owner. <li> Location: Montreal <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-08-14T13:10:48-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/396849225.html Gorgeous Couch - Pic in link text to the girl on the metro with the cleavage - m4w http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/390332730.html when you got up in the morning and got dressed, you chose to wear an outfit that partly reveals your boobs. you have a mirror. you knew. i didn't force you to wear it. in fact, when you bought this item, you knew that you were going to wear it, in public, and it would be revealing your tits a little (or a lot). make no mistake, i applaud you for this. but what i'm getting at, is that we both know you were showing off your rack. don't lie, it's not very subtle. and don't pretend it's a fashion thing. it's a hooter thing. so when you buy the top, and wear it, in the summer, in public, and you're going to stand in front of me, guess what. I'm going to look at your boobs. first off, you should be flattered. i looked at them because they are nice. you should be upset if you were showing off your knockers and i didn't look at them. actually, them being nice is why i looked at them repeatedly. the first peek was more of an instinct. guy-instinct. we can't help it. after that, we just want to see as much of it as we can. to us, boobs are like the Godfather parts I and II. we can watch them over and over and never get tired of them. anyway, yea, i looked at your cans. a bunch of times, actually. now, i understand no one likes to be stared at. this is why i did in fact look around the rest of the metro to see if there was anything else interesting to look at. unfortunately there were no other hot babes, no bums, no cute babies, no one was wearing a Slayer reign in blood tour shirt. nothing. so i went back to your melons. sorry. it was a boring ride, and they were right in front of me. but i think you forget that i was nice enough to focus on your funbags, as opposed to alternating between them and trying to make eyecontact. now that would have been ungentlemen-like. i realise no one finds true love over a pair of jugs on the orange line. it's just not realistic. so i kept my head down, stood in a position as to be not overly obvious about my staring, made sure i didn't get a semi (i got real close once, but i handled it), and tried to be as polite about the situation as possible. so anyway, i just thought you should know my point of view on what happened. i am not a pervert. i was just a man on a metro. a man who saw something that pulled his mind out of the daily routine, and i held onto it dearly (not literally, ofcourse, though that would have been pretty sick). but as you can tell from this long posting, i do feel slightly bad about my behaviour. so to make up for it, i have decided, with pain in my heart, to release you from my spank bank. i think it is fair to say we are even now. i think i did see a hint of slight animal lust in your eyes when you gave me that annoyed look and got out of the metro. so if you are reading this, baby, i'd really like to take you on a trip... a motorboating trip.  <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: mtl <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-08-06T04:28:55-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/390332730.html to the girl on the metro with the cleavage - m4w text Your overpriced items insult Craigslist MTL user intelligence http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/136552797.html So, you're using a FREE community service to sell high-priced items? Shame on you, especially in terms of the profit you think you're going to make. Go buy an ad in the Gazette, Suburban, Examiner, etc., or if you want a profit, get off your lazy behinds and sell on eBay. That's your clientele -- not Craigslist community members. This is a virtual garage sale -- adjust your prices downward accordingly -- or don't post. Nobody is buying your overpriced items, and you're polluting the neighbourhood. <img src=136552797.jpg> webmaster@craigslist.org 2006-02-24T00:32:47-05:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/136552797.html Your overpriced items insult Craigslist MTL user intelligence text